Guest speaker Antonette Green is speaking on the seasons of love that many might look at as the stages of relationships. Relationships are tough but we can get through them if we are aware that love and relationships do go through various stages and they aren’t always peaches and cream.
For audio podcast you can listen here.
For video podcast you can listen here.
Subscribe to Antonette’s social site and access her wisdom.
Brandy:
If everyone would just mind their own business. ?If everyone would just stay in their own lane. ?If everyone would just stop being so negative. ?If everyone would just help people instead of talking about them. ?If everyone would just say what?s on their minds instead of being subliminal. ?If everyone would just stop half-way telling THEIR side and just tell the WHOLE?truth. ?If everyone would just support one another. If everyone would just keep it 100%. ?If everyone would just, well….ya know…. be like ME. ?
The world would be a much better place…!!
???Sounds familiar…!?!?!
We all have said this before.? Either out loud or to ourselves.? The issue here though is that even?YOU aren’t perfect and?YOU for sure have not made all the right decisions. When we ourselves are broken, we try to fit people into some perfect little world we conjured up.? We try to make them achieve the perfect personality that even?WE, ourselves can’t achieve.? We like to make everyone think, respond, handle situations, and act in a fairy tale manner.? Here’s the icing on the cake though:? We love to see people?PRETEND?like us.
And when they don’t, something is totally wrong with?THEM…!!
The issue with the pretending is that we create a false world with falsely, perfect people.? So then when they don’t live up to our standards, we do this thing called throwing them under the bus {yep, I will use this term a lot?because we live in a century where “throwing people under buses” is the new norm}.
?? Here’s a better one:?
We broadcast their imperfections so that it covers our own imperfections.? It keeps us from being the king/queen of bad choices.? Because “At least I didn’t do this or I didn’t do that.”??That’s what we say to justify ourselves & our choices while we crucify them for their poor choices.? We try to manipulate people into being the PERFECT, SWEET? “them”, while we continue to be the MESSY, PETTY, IMMATURE “us”.? ?You don’t believe me.!?!???
?? Well how about this:
?? Here is one I see often:
Those were just a few to name, but by now I’m sure more situations have come to mind for you.? Life humbled me greatly & I will never forget it’s lessons.? I’m more careful now at not turning my nose up at people and situations I have never been in.? I’m even THAT MORE careful at giving grace/mercy to those who have been in certain situations that I have been in.? These lessons taught me that nobody (even Saved folks)?are exempt from making poor choices, no matter how good you think you are and no matter how many positive books, stats, or quotes you read.? In the end, we ALL fall short in various areas of our lives.
We should be so busy trying to find ways to help others with the same flaws as ours.? We should be building better relationships with people by being transparent about our mess-ups and by being non-judgmental towards their mess-ups.? You shouldn’t be so busy trying to expose other’s shortcomings to make yourself seem far above them, because even if you aren’t at the center of the stage; just remember that curtains always fall when we least expect them:? and pretty soon it will be time for your curtain to come down.
“And the second commandment is like the first: Love your neighbor as you love yourself” – Matt 22:39 ICB
It?s your TRAINING GROUND, so you choose whether you win or lose. – Brandy Yates
Have you ever sat back and thought to yourself, ?I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT LOVE IS?? ?You know what it looks like, feels like, and what it even acts like right? ?Yeah, we all have been down those roads of thoughts. ?Unfortunately, life has taught me that many of us got it all twisted though. ?Take a minute with me and just recap your life:
Has there been times where your love for a person was at its highest [ONLY]?when they were doing right by you? ?If you answered [YES], then you might not know what love is. ?Was your love at its highest for that person when they did everything you asked them to do and exactly how you pictured them doing it? ?If you answered?[YES], then you might not know what love is. ?Did you feel the same amount of love when they didn?t stop being friends with so and so or when they didn?t stop going places you didn?t approve of because you asked them to? ???If you answered [NO], then you might not know what love is. I can go on and on with the scenarios because I have seen a lot of different ones from people i personally know. ?Let?s not begin to speak of the millions of stories and scenarios about people?s relationships that I have learned about just through social media. ?Whether it was intimate, romantic, business, family, friends, or just cordial relationships. ?I have heard and have read about it all.
I?m not an expert by any means, and you will most likely hear me say this often. I know everyone?s situation is different so by no means am I saying what I have learned will always work for you in your situations. ?Trust and believe I am still a work-in-progress myself. ?Still learning and still bumping my head, but I encourage everyone that no matter how imperfect you are, still share the wisdom you have learned during your journey on this thing we call LIFE. ?There are people out there who need the help and the guidance from your mistakes and lessons learned.
Ok, back on subject. ?There is this thing called ?Unconditional Love?. ?Ever heard of it? ?It?s a very offensive and high maintenance phrase. The phrase is so [mature] that most people will get offended as if you cursed them out to their face if you mention it to them. Unconditional love starts in the heart.? [EVERYTHING] starts in the [HEART]. ?Many of us can?t give off to others what is not in our heart. ?Majority of us don?t even know how to love ourselves for who we are so we look for others to feel the void. ?We look to them to validate us and give us clarity on who we are. ?We act like adult-babies (my new-founded phrase) when we don?t get our way and when we can?t control people or situations. ?Most people are so non-accepting of others that we dismiss their views anytime they don?t line up with how we view something. ?We have a [CLEAR] understanding of what love is suppose to say and do when it comes to other people, but the mind stops working when it?s time to shine the light on how WE ourselves give love. ?This subject is so touchy & so broad that I know for sure there will be more blogs particularly on this topic in the future from me. ?Before I go, let me give you a few pointers on what I learned about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
These are just to name a few, but i promise you, If you are not ready yet to deal with any selfish, bitter, angry, jealous, or childish ways when they show their ugly heads, then you may as well not even think about having any type of healthy relationship with anybody. No amount of tattoos, makeup, shopping, hair appts, likes, and social media views will save you from a miserable relationship if you?re not willing to put in the work it takes to check yourself, before trying to make others change what you can?t stand about them.
?Friends love in all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.? – Proverbs 17:17 ?MSG
It?s your TRAINING GROUND, so you choose whether you win or lose. – Brandy Yates